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Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

Subject:Most Appreeshahfer!
Posted by:ohmyhead.
Time:4:47 pm.
This is the highest-maintenance user in my company, Don.

Ok, it's obviously Homer, but I don't have any pics of Don.

Don calls me for help with computer issues. A LOT. Like sick amounts.

THIS is a voicemail I got from Don just today.
Seriously. Give a listen. (Names and numbers have been distorted.) (28 secs)


Translation? His Outlook 2003 is stuck in Recovery Mode and he'd like that remedied. He's in an office with a firewall that prevents me from accessing his machine remotely. So I refuse to walk him through anything, and if you listened to that voicemail, you understand. So he said he'd go home so I could connect and do it for him. He lives two blocks from the office. Two hours later...and no Don. So we'll get to go through this aaaall over again. And the best part is that even after I fix his Recovery Mode issue, he won't get to see "his back emails". He just won't get strange popups in Outlook any more.

(x-posted at techsupport)
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Posted by:xinu.
Time:4:28 am.
I now pronounce this community active again. Post away gents!
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, July 26th, 2005

Posted by:ohmyhead.
Time:2:42 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
DAMN I miss this community. I just went back and read all my own entries. Fun. :)

Oh yeah, I miss working, too. Although you'd never know it from what I wrote in here. lol
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 4th, 2004

Subject:No Fucking WAY
Posted by:ohmyhead.
Time:3:13 pm.
User: Hey AL, quick question. If I deleted a file by mistake, can I get it back?

Me: Was it a file on your hard drive or an email?

User: It was a file. In my My Documents folder.

Me: Did you look in the Recycle Bin?

User: Uuuuuh, no.

Me: Well just double-click the Recy...

User: Well I'm driving in my car right now.


This guy has been using a computer for at LEAST 5 years. Can I get a deleted file back? WTF! He sounded sober. I just don't get it....
Comments: Read 12 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, February 18th, 2004

Subject:APC vulnerability
Posted by:stgpcm.
Time:2:48 am.
Mood: pissed off.
Yeah, I know, this isn't a customer - but this is even more stupid than my customers.

Amature Pubescant Coders decided that storing username and password pairs was best done in.... plain text - I don't care that it is stored locally on an EEPROM that nobody has access to, you still don't store them in plaintext, you always use a one way hash.

Arsholes Pedalling Crack also decide to put a backdoor password in to facilitate factory configuration - change mac address, that sort of thing, display eeprom contents. they never change this password, and use it across the whole product range - I don't care how secret you're going to keep it, it's for factory config, so you put a jumper on the board that has to be closed before the password is looked for.

Put the two together and even a web designer could have told you it might not be the best security plan
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003

Subject:More Evidence of a Threat
Posted by:drmosh.
Time:9:50 am.
Don't think M$ is a threat to national security? How about to our economic security?

--Diebold ATMs Hit by Nachi in August
(24 November 2003)
Diebold ATMs at two different banks were infected with the Nachi worm
in August of this year. The infected machines' vigorous scanning for
vulnerable computers triggered the banks' intrusion detection systems
and were cut off. Though a patch for the vulnerability exploited by
Nachi had been available for more than a month, Diebold had not
installed it on the affected ATMs.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 25th, 2003

Subject:Microsoft works... NOT
Posted by:drmosh.
Time:11:00 am.
Outlook, not Outlook Express, Outlook, this must be the single most retarded application that Microshit has developed. Well wait, that's Windows in general.

Tell me why if I have a lot of e-mails in a box, it's quicker to ARCHIVE the fucking thing. Then delete the archive file than it is to actually delete messages in it?? WTF is that? Stick to fucking DOS Microsoft!!

Oh, to top it off, the archive file can only be about 200megs in size, after that it decides to EAT SHIT!

I'm surprised that Windows hasn't been deemed a national security problem yet.

Microsoft are fucking terrorists for the shit they create!!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, November 20th, 2003

Subject:I get the kookiest email.
Posted by:grumpy_sysadmin.
Time:1:21 pm.
From: "Loretta User" <LUSER@employer.dom>
Subject: Addition
Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 12:41:55 -0500
To: <root@ftp.employer.dom>


Can you please add my name to the distribution list asap? Thank you.


Loretta User
Senior Account Manager
That's it. That's all.

No mention of which distribution list, what's distributed via it, not even who is, at present, a member. No clues to go on.

Perhaps "Loretta" assumes that there exists some single platonically ideal distribution list, and all she needs to get ahead in the dog-eat-dog world of Senior Account Management is to get herself added to it?

(Okay, so really, this is that our FTP server runs NcFTPd, which sends out notifications to various internal users when clients upload files. But we've got like fifty of those notifications. I doubt "Loretta" wants to be on all of them...)
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, November 13th, 2003

Subject:2 + 2 = ...?
Posted by:soilent.
Time:4:58 pm.
Some people just make me want to smash things.

I can handle interacting with foreign people. Most of them are quite fluent in English. At the most I have to read their requests and complaints twice. And when they ARE complaining, they're almost always still nice/polite about it.

Explain to me why I'm encountering Japanese folks that probably don't speak a bit of our language, and yet, I don't have to read their tickets 17 times. As opposed to the schoolteacher from Indiana who types like a three-year-old on crack.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, November 10th, 2003

Subject:No WAY
Posted by:ohmyhead.
Time:12:26 pm.
I was just told I have more Help Desk incidents in the can than anyone in my department with 547 since January 1st. Since I habitually decline to bother creating/closing help desk tickets for every incident, the number is more like 1500+, including calls, emails, and personal visits. Holy shit. And I am in the REMOTE OFFICE. The others are in the Corporate Office with 100 people in their face as well as the nationwide field folk.

Either my teammates are incredibly shitty at creating/closing help desk tickets, or I have seriously overestimated how busy they are.
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Posted by:ddr_zealot.
Time:12:41 pm.
Associate: I'm having a hard time changing my password here today. It keeps telling me my attempt to change it has failed. Please try again.

Me: Ok, that just means there's something about your new password that the system doesn't like. Do you know the password rules?

Associate: I change it every month and this the first time it's done this to me.

Me: What are you trying to change it to?

Associate: "favorites11". Last month it was "favorites10".

Me: Ah yes. It doesn't like any back-to-back repeating characters
(notice "back-to-back" and "repeating" are synonymous ..just to help drive the point home.)
Me: We're getting a lot of these calls lately, since people are using the number of the current month in their password and November is 11, which it doesn't like the one, one.

Associate: Oh. So I'll just use "11favorites".
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, November 9th, 2003

Subject:Can I Get Fries With That?
Posted by:soilent.
Time:2:10 am.
Mood: dirty.
Okay, my day off today, so what do I do? I get stuck setting up email accounts for my neighbors. I haven't checked my personal email in about a week now, because I'm so tired of hearing about email. Somebody, kill me? Please?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 8th, 2003

Posted by:drmosh.
Time:11:42 am.
So we've been trying to move this customer from the old datacenter to the new one. We don't own the old datacenter, the previous company did... so we're trying to get him to move. He continually says "NO! I won't move!! I have special routing!! We can't use BGP because our software doesn't work with BGP!! Let me explain how the Internet works!!" So we call up the previous provider and ask "what kind of special routing are you doing for customer X?" They reply "NONE"... I start laughing my ass off...
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:The Real issue
Posted by:snakemanx.
Time:8:18 am.
Mood: amused.
I am writing tech support to inform you that I am an idiot and you shouldn't allow idiots like me to have access to a computer please phone my local police department and inform them of this, so that I may have them come into my home and forcefully rip this thing that I will never understand because I don't even know how to flip a light switch on my 3 year old grandkid has to come over and show me how to turn my computer on to begin with.

Please Help
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 4th, 2003

Subject:hello, right,
Posted by:stgpcm.
Time:7:33 pm.
Mood: amused.
I've got a problem, right, with my email, right.
OK sir, what problem are you having
I can't open my email, right.
Okaaay, how do y...
It, right, downloads them, right, 1 of 7, right, but I just can't open them.
*BLINK* err... perhaps you have a filter that's deleting them?
no, right I can see them, right, but when I double click on them, right - oh. It's working now.
OK? thank you sir
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, October 24th, 2003

Subject:CTO- MSN.
Posted by:stgpcm.
Time:11:15 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
now there is a wheeze. The high ups have decided we will offer support to our customers via MSN. The one who drew the short straw and had to tell the big hairy unix geek offered to install it for me after I asked where I got it from. Penny didn't drop when I said let me just get the KVM to a windows desk top for you. Bastards can MSN me all they want. I'm not going to be able to see the fuckers
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003

Subject:Shameful cableing
Posted by:darthgeek.
Time:12:57 am.
Mood: amused.
The Colofinder Gallery has 90 or so images of cabling that ranges from not great to horrific. My personal favorite is this phone switch in Beruit:

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, October 18th, 2003

Subject:Brief hiatus.
Posted by:xinu.
Time:7:19 pm.
Mood: refreshed.
Sorry for the interruption, folks. The board is back up and running. If you're interested in the sordid details of the lapse, hit me up personally. Carry on.
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, October 7th, 2003

Subject:the problem is between the ears
Posted by:shared_boxers.
Time:12:17 am.
I've noticed something about people in the IT department at work and my department (we handle the student/user end support).

Today, I got a call from a student who was freaking out because in Outlook Web Access (the on-line student e-mail system we implimented a couple weeks ago), whenever she opened a message, it disappeared from her inbox. She didn't know where the e-mails went or how to get them back. She called IT and they said she was going to probably have to uninstall and reinstall Internet Explorer. But, then she got to me. Asked if she saw the View area where it gave you the types of views for the messages, like how to filter and organize your messages. I said is it set to "Unread Messages"? And of course she said yes. I had to set it to "Messages" and magically all of her e-mails reappeared.

Of course to be fair, I only thought of that because the exact same thing happened to another student a couple weeks ago. Me and my coworker were in the lab and we're trying to figure out what's going on. After 3 minutes, I notice the View drop-down box and all was good. And my coworker was shocked because she never would have thought of that.

Which brings me to the point. I think too many people view the problems too technically. It has to be something wrong with the computer ... the software ... the hardware ... virus ... conflicts. They frequently overlook the most likely place the problem is ... the user. My problem solving strategy involves:

Part 1: Assume the user is a complete moron and that they did something wrong.

Now, that may appear bad. But honestly, that fixes most of the problems that get thrown at me. By doing that first, I don't have to needlessly go through settings and examine stuff. I find the real problem, and quickly: the user is an idiot.

So, tech support people around the world: stop giving the user too much credit.
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 6th, 2003

Subject:A Sphincter says Wha?
Posted by:ohmyhead.
Time:11:14 am.

45 minutes. On the phone with this hump about his DSL and how he can't get on our VPN. 45 minutes before he informs me that his DSL light on his moden is OFF. The fucking thing isn't even plugged into the WALL! He unplugged it all to use his dialup, then thought to try his high speed without plugging it all back in. It's now working, need to reconfigure his router. Geez, what a fucker! It's so sad it's funny. It's just too lame for me to get mad at. I...I...jeebus. LOL
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Not My Fscking Problem.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.